Day 3. From Gray Attitude to Gratitude
My latest contract takes me back to a corporate campus, where I’m assigned to a building, a wing and a floor, a department, a team and an aisle and, at last, to my very own cubicle. It’s a spacious 8 x 8 cube, with walls covered in a textured gray fabric and edges piped in a steely, cold gray plastic. An unwieldy, towering sculpture takes up much of my floor space– it’s a double-wide metal file cabinet, which will remain empty during my occupation.
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I am safely protected from the dangers of decent cellphone reception, the enticement of open windows and the distraction of Internet sites, which might lure my mind into thoughts of leisure, which rhymes with pleasure, if you pronounce it just so.
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The air is still, except for the occasional disruption of a passerby and the hum of the white noise tremors against the floor like a distant low drum that beats all day. The florescent lights above shower soft rays of pulsating blue light. I eat the same bagged lunch everyday –turkey with Dijon on wheat and an apple and I sit, for up to ten hours a day, thinking about what I did to deserve this.
A former colleague drops by my cube last week. When I tell her why I am back, she remarks, “Well aren’t you lucky? You are so lucky. Good for you!”
She is so right. I am incredibly fortunate, sitting in my gray cube all day, doing what I love to do– designing.
Just a slight bend in your perspective can swing your attitude one way or the other. I love the poignancy in gratitude and how, if you use it in earnest, it shapes your attitude and your surroundings into something quite beautiful.
My environment is surely challenged, but I am so lucky to have this job. Here’s wishing the perfect new job for everyone who’s searching and in need today.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:25 am
Is it possible the pressue of “30 blogs in 30 days” in prodding you to achieve an even higher standard of excellence in your writing? Or maybe it is easy for you to simply reflect what is inside and let it come out through your words. The last two posts are worth reflection, holding onto and passing along. My neighbor Chris and I spend a little time most mornings sitting under the trees in her back yard going through a very specific routine of expressing gratitude. Recognizing the good in our lives – and the people around us – and expressing gratitude does make everything more beautiful, more hopeful. I am so grateful for the people who enrich my life! Thank you for sharing with us through The Paper Apron.
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I’m still waiting for my dream job, though it’s a bit tough to get there. But I’m content with what I’ve achieved thus far. I’m glad you enjoy what you do. It’e a rare thing these day to hear people say that about the job they have.
November 4th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
@Carolyn- Thank you so much for this. I am so grateful for YOU! I love your idea of spending time each morning being grateful. I always find that when I take time to purposefully intend gratitude, that life opens all around me like a flower, as if to say, “Thank you for noticing; thank you for appreciating.”
@Jenn, you are in the right place, and very soon, it will be the right time. I am so surprised your dream job hasn’t happened yet, since you’re always doing such interesting things in the movie/TV business. I’m sending good thoughts your way.
January 4th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
[...] perhaps not so quietly, Rebeca) blamed the whole emotional lapse on my latest contract, which, as you may remember, has landed me once again, inside a gray cubicle, on a gray floor, which is slid like a cafeteria [...]