Day 4. Talk Amongst Yourselves…Over Dinner.
HOME– Two weeks ago: I’m driving along in my car. Perhaps I am on my way to the gym, but more than likely I will veer off to Target instead. I’m thinking about quotes. I love a good quote. In particular, I’m trying to recreate one of my favorite quotes, but I can’t quite remember it. I pin the words together in my mind’s eye, like a pattern that I want to sew. But it’s flimsy and floating about in pieces, refusing to come together.
It’s the quote about dinnertime conversation. It’s about smart people vs. average people. Ah. It comes back to me.
“Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
The first time I ever heard this quote, it was relayed through a friend of my mom’s. Mom’s friend, we’ll call her Beatrice, grew up hearing this quoted by her father as a lesson in dinnertime discourse.
It struck me as strange and foreign behavior. I had never heard of a father dictating the rules of dinnertime conversation. Surely, they were an erudite, silver-spoon-fed clan, who sought more than comfort and nourishment from gathering around the dinner table.
Did Beatrice dress for dinner? Did they all sing together like the Van Trapps? Did a staff serve them? Did they eat bowls of vichyssoise from a large hand-painted porcelain tureen in the center of their formal, linen-covered table?
What types of ideas did they discuss? How to achieve peace in the Middle East? The virtues of piano concertos in D minor? Keynesian economics? Contemporary architecture? Space as the final frontier?
It wasn’t as if I’d grown up in a family of oafs. It’s just that we used our table time for talking about the day. We ate our meals to the too-loud accompaniment of the nightly news. We discussed school and friends and what the heck weird terms like “slaughter hogs at Peoria” meant. We discussed Watergate and the Muppets. We also discussed the state of our neighbor’s back yard and the funny way my teacher waddled. I’m just unclear on the ideas part. Did we ever discuss ideas? Did we ever exercise our minds in playful contemplation or thoughtful debate?
—-
Two hours later I return home from my shopping binge, check my email and glance at Twitter. Hazel Rider, a reporter from Charleston, South Carolina, has posted another quote. She’s always posting wonderful quotes and I wonder where she finds all of her material.
She’s posted the very quote! I look at the time. It was two hours earlier– the exact same time I was piecing Eleanor’s quote together as I drove down the highway.
Great minds think alike.
I have an idea. From now on, we will stop talking about people and events at the dinner table and start talking about ideas. And tonight, we will begin by discussing my idea over pork chops and beans.
I’m feeling cerebral already.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Love this quote from Eleanor!!–thanks for sharing it..by the way, I think there are always ideas discussed at your dinnertable and at the Stones’!–Jackie and Carl always have great ideas and have always prompted us all to share ideas. I think to talk about ideas–you also have to have GENUINE interest in others–your parents are great examples for us–as far as that goes! You get that from them!
I love to think of quotes–my quote throughout this day was (my own)–if you give, and get something back–it’s not giving anymore.
and YOU and your blog remind me of one of my favorites–”Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself and thus make yourself indispensable”–you are being faithful to who you are and what you love to do–that’s awesome!!
November 5th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Growing up, I remember my parents talking about EVERYTHING over dinner. Money, business, politics, travel, nature. You name it. And we were encouraged to participate if we could. It was lively, animated, and fun. At my best friend’s house, there was NO talking allowed dinner. Quiet, strict, stuffy, uncomfortable. You can imagine what my dinner table is like now that I have my own kids.
Whether it’s ideas or anything else, just talk. And have fun doing it.