Day 24. Collecting Moments
HOME– I made my Grandmother’s carrot cake tonight. I love making this cake. The recipe is all about faith. There is no cooking time, so I don’t set a timer. When my cake is done, I know it. I touch it, I press it. It’s not so hard to get this right. I wish more recipes were written like this, as if the cook simply trusted that you’d know how to finish her sentence. And of course, you do.
The last Thanksgiving I spent with my grandmother, she had just turned 97. That day, her mind was as clear as it had been twenty years prior. When she laughed, we laughed. When she told one of her stories, even though we knew them all by heart, we listened to every word. She was fun to be with, especially on a good day. And this was a great day. She was present that day.
Her tiny five foot frame, barely standing above the concrete counter, seemed an odd juxtaposition in itself- as if she were an anachronism, misplaced in a modern kitchen. The counter was filled with my best dishes: casseroles, small bowls for pickles and peaches, assorted hand-thrown pottery in all sizes, a small metal-rimmed pitcher I found in Arizona, oblong platters and deep crockery bowls from Italy. The Thanksgiving feast gives every dish a purpose.
She surveyed the dishes and ran her fingers across a wavy Italian plate. “You have such nice things…” her voice trailed off, as if she were both honestly surprised and proud.
She had never noticed the things I had gathered in my lifetime. It had never occurred to her to notice. It was such a sweet moment to me. I realized, for the first time in my life, my grandmother saw me as a grown woman. I was in my mid-thirties. In an instant, perhaps she compared me to herself, possibly as a young bride, collecting things for her home and her table. There had been a time, when she loved nice things, too.
I am fond of beautiful things. I live to shop and travel and collect things I fall in love with, as I go. But, far more than any tangible thing, I wish I could collect more moments just like this, moments when I am present with the people I love most. Moments when we see our similarities, whatever they may be, and understand our connection in this tiny, yet infinite universe.
I love you, Granny! And I’m really missing you today.
November 25th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Beautiful story. Have a great Thanksgiving. GREG
November 25th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Well, now you’ve done it. I’m all weepy over here. My grandmother (Nan, to us) died a year ago, this past October. One week after her 94th birthday. Although we knew she was declining, she was still so alert and amazing. And so it was a shock. I miss her terribly.
November 26th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
@Amy, Don’t you hope someone misses us one day as much as we miss our grandmothers? I think it would be quite a legacy to leave behind. A trail of tiny tears that are made from love. Pure, aching love. It seems we are both very lucky to have had such wonderful grandmothers in our lives. I suppose I never realized that in this way, among others, I want to be just like her when I get old. Now, if I can ~somehow~ just live to be that old!
November 27th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I think it’s a great gift to know your grandparents - I am always surprised how many people don’t. This Thanksgiving was smaller than usual, but we shared stories and laughed and remembered. Yes, how do we live to be in our mid-late 90’s?! The untold secret.
Hope you had a wonderful holiday!