It’s been almost a year since I’ve posted on the Paper Apron. After the first few months of blog-avoidance syndrome, a sad note appeared in my head. It hung from a string:
“You have nothing to say.”
And every time I sat at my keyboard to type, I couldn’t see past the silly note.
I was empty. Vacuous. Hollow. Zapped! And worse– my muse had packed up her box of inspiration and moved out. When I looked over my recent posts, I saw that my photos were yellow-hued and over-exposed. My recipes weren’t even mine anymore. My words were jumbled. My ideas bored me. Perhaps my muse had moved out long ago and I hadn’t noticed.
I couldn’t figure out why my creativity had slumped so, but I knew blogging didn’t feel so good anymore. Perhaps I had said too much.
So, I took a break.
A spring break…
which stretched into a summer break.
Fall came and I stayed on break because I was still broken.
Then, a godsend…
MY BIG BREAK
In early December, an editor friend asked if I would submit a few recipes and photographs to a local magazine Columbia Living & her sister publication, Charleston Living. I took the assignment, but I was afraid I wasn’t up to the task.
SPOON IN ONE HAND, CAMERA IN THE OTHER
The entire photo shoot took four days and six shopping trips but finally, after five hundred photographs, I emerged with a dozen decent shots and four new recipes. It was exhausting, but I didn’t care because a far more important emotion took precedence: EXHILARATION. I was in the moment, doing what I love most– creating, cooking, photographing, designing and writing.
Yesterday, she emailed that I made the cover. My photo, that is. It’s a shot of a cherry pastry made to look like a Valentine’s Day love note. Whoa. That felt so good. It’s a January/February issue, so as soon as it’s out (tomorrow?), I’ll let you know. I write this so casually, but inside, I am jumping for JOY because when I get to walk into Barnes and Noble and see my photo on the cover of a magazine, I am making a store announcement right then and there.
LIFE ISN’T ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF
Life is about creating yourself. I think sometimes when our hearts and souls go into hibernation, it’s possible that we have simply forgotten that simple truth.
I’m excited about blogging again. My new theme isn’t me, yet, but it’s getting there. Best of all, I’m not afraid that I can’t do this. Double negative = a positive, right? Okay, so awkward sentences are still cropping up, but hey, at least I have something to say. Sigh. And I am grateful.
In the midst of all of the smoke and chaos of life there are days like today, when I can feel the wind as it shifts, lifts me up, and encourages me to fly.