It’s been almost a year since I’ve posted on the Paper Apron. After the first few months of blog-avoidance syndrome, a sad note appeared in my head. It hung from a string:
“You have nothing to say.”
And every time I sat at my keyboard to type, I couldn’t see past the silly note.
I was empty. Vacuous. Hollow. Zapped! And worse– my muse had packed up her box of inspiration and moved out. When I looked over my recent posts, I saw that my photos were yellow-hued and over-exposed. My recipes weren’t even mine anymore. My words were jumbled. My ideas bored me. Perhaps my muse had moved out long ago and I hadn’t noticed.
I couldn’t figure out why my creativity had slumped so, but I knew blogging didn’t feel so good anymore. Perhaps I had said too much.
So, I took a break.
A spring break…
which stretched into a summer break.
Fall came and I stayed on break because I was still broken.
Then, a godsend…
MY BIG BREAK
In early December, an editor friend asked if I would submit a few recipes and photographs to a local magazine Columbia Living & her sister publication, Charleston Living. I took the assignment, but I was afraid I wasn’t up to the task.
SPOON IN ONE HAND, CAMERA IN THE OTHER
The entire photo shoot took four days and six shopping trips but finally, after five hundred photographs, I emerged with a dozen decent shots and four new recipes. It was exhausting, but I didn’t care because a far more important emotion took precedence: EXHILARATION. I was in the moment, doing what I love most– creating, cooking, photographing, designing and writing.
Yesterday, she emailed that I made the cover. My photo, that is. It’s a shot of a cherry pastry made to look like a Valentine’s Day love note. Whoa. That felt so good. It’s a January/February issue, so as soon as it’s out (tomorrow?), I’ll let you know. I write this so casually, but inside, I am jumping for JOY because when I get to walk into Barnes and Noble and see my photo on the cover of a magazine, I am making a store announcement right then and there.
LIFE ISN’T ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF
Life is about creating yourself. I think sometimes when our hearts and souls go into hibernation, it’s possible that we have simply forgotten that simple truth.
I’m excited about blogging again. My new theme isn’t me, yet, but it’s getting there. Best of all, I’m not afraid that I can’t do this. Double negative = a positive, right? Okay, so awkward sentences are still cropping up, but hey, at least I have something to say. Sigh. And I am grateful.
In the midst of all of the smoke and chaos of life there are days like today, when I can feel the wind as it shifts, lifts me up, and encourages me to fly.
Needful Things
“Life is about creating yourself” – Amen to that.
So happy for your magazine cover! Wishing you a wonderful, healthy & ‘creative’ 2013! Good to have you back
Kim
Thanks Grapefruit!!!! I love a fresh start and that’s what this feels like. And what better timing than the beginning of the year when we’re all focused on how will we live this year– how can we improve ourselves and what can we offer the world? I know blogging isn’t exactly a researching a cure, but it is a small offering that has the potential to be meaningful, inspirational, or even healing to someone, somewhere. Perhaps that someone is our self. Happy New Year!
Lisa
I’m so happy to see you back and so proud of what you’ve accomplished. The cover! OMG! I’m so looking forward to everything you have to post in 2013! I missed you here! Welcome back!
Kim
Thank you so much, Lisa. I’m heading to the store today. (Weeeeeeeee) As you know more than most, there is a tremendous amount of camaraderie, closeness, and support in our little blogging neighborhood. The absence of that warmth tugged at my heart– I didn’t realize how much I’d come to depend upon and enjoy talking to this loving circle of friends. It makes me wonder how we’ll ever retire from blogging.
Amy
Your words were, and still are, like absolute butter. Welcome back. And the cover? NIIICE!!
Kim
YEA! Over the past couple of years, when I dropped by Very Culinary I have been amazed time after time that you kept my link on your blog. You are such a big success now (don’t say anything– just own it) and I am so proud of you. I am also honored. You showed a lot of courage and true kinship by keeping the Paper Apron there and you surely never ever had to. But from the very bottom of my heart, “Thank You” my friend. You are a good egg.
Together, as egg and butter, we make a mean breakfast.
Christy
SO HAPPY YOU are back!! I keep a fast link Paper Apron icon on the home screen of my iPhone (News page)–right next to the AP, HuffPost, WashPost, npr & Politico apps. It was great to see new life and joy on that little square with rounded corners! (No more pork chops! Yeah!
)
So happy to get this reading time back! Very exciting about the mag cover-I can’t wait! Keep my icon fresh..you know, you could design an Apron app this year…Love You
Kim
You nut– I bet you were sick of those pork chops! I thought I was the only one staring at those things!! I need an NPR app and AP app, too. I will do my best to refresh your icon. I have all of this gusto so now let’s hope I can squeeze the time in. I’m working more hours this year but I’m also taking much better care of myself so I’m counting on MORE energy.
Thanks for hanging in there with me. You are such a good shoulder to lean on.
Nancy Z. Schlegel
Bonjour, Kim! I’ve missed your way with words and succulent fruit . . . Welcome 2013. It’s going to be a great year!
Nancy
Kim
Oh Nancy, thank you so much. I always did love having you visit the Paper Apron. Whenever I’ve opened up a comment from you or an email, it feels as if we are sitting down for a cup of espresso and having a good chat. I’m so glad to hear from you!
Oh, and P.S. I dug up an old photo of our favorite Paris culinary haunt to put in my next post.
Rosemary B. Hedden
Thank you so very much for coming back into my home. I always love to see what is happening in your world so that I may have hope and inspiration for mine. I did not know about the Columbia magazine article but will rush out to get one TODAY.
Take care and please keep on blogging in 2013…your off to a great start!
Best regards,
Rosemary